The good news: You will eat fruitcake on Saturday

     Coming to Independence on December 15th is the latest incarnation of the annual Fruitcake Festival, “Fiesta de Fruitcake”. It is south of the border fun for this year’s Fruitcake Festival. There are many possibilities with this year’s theme for creating a winning fruitcake. Categories include oldest, travelled the farthest, best of theme, most solids, and judges’ award. Our fruitcake judges employ mechanical, empirical and philosophical techniques to select winning fruitcakes in those categories. Most people participate along with their fruitcakes by wearing theme-oriented costumes. This is not required, but in the past we have found that a good many people like to dress up more than their fruitcakes. This year we will have our first ever Best of Theme Costume Award.
     Once again, The Eighth Annual Internationally Acclaimed Independence Fruitcake Festival has garnered media attention, which makes us wonder about many things. You will find articles about the Festival in Country Woman magazine, as well as in the Washington Times.
     To attend the Festival, you must bring a fruitcake or eggnog. Homemade fruitcake or eggnog is preferred. The eggnog can be transported to the festival in a milk jug. Please label it as “leaded” or “unleaded”. We have refrigeration on site. The eggnog is always served in elegant punch cups at the bar. It is worth the trip to Independence just for that fact alone.

The bad news: You will die on Friday

     Scientists have discovered that fruitcakes from many civilizations appear to be modeled after the Mayan Calendar. Does this mean that fruitcakes, supposedly a symbol of immortality, are actually a dire warning from the ancient Mayans that the end is near?

            
            

     Unfortunately, due to Mayan predictions of the End of Time on the following Friday, this may be our final Fruitcake Festival -- but it will prove that fruitcakes really will last to the end of time. This may be your last chance to attend this Internationally Acclaimed event!

 FIESTA de FRUITCAKE
The Eighth Internationally Acclaimed Independence Fruitcake Festival

FLOW OF EVENTS

Approx. 6 PM:   Festival Convocation by Clanging of Flatware
Curvedware may also be clanged.

Welcome
Welcome to all Fruitcake Aficionados.

Introduction of Distinguished Guests and Festival Staff.
Recognition of His Excellency, Deposed Monarch Jon Klusmire.
Re-investiture of King Bryan Kostors, Fruitcake Monarch for Life (until Deposed)

Flamingo Dancing!

6:15 PM, ± a bit DANCING with the Fruitcakes!
Conga, Macarena and more! The more you dance, the more fruitcake you can eat.

FESTIVE ATTIRE CONTEST!
While we play, Judges Dean Stout and Brian Lamb, and Nutometer Technician Kevin Carunchio undertake the solemn task of judging, ably assisted by our official Cutters.

• Fruitcake that Traveled the Farthest

• Oldest Fruitcake

• Best of Theme

• Most Solids

• Judge’s Award.

Stay hydrated with Eggnog!
Prepare for Fruitcake Tasting with a delightful Taco Plate from Tacos Jalisco for just $5!

7:30ish:  FRUITCAKE TASTING BEGINS.
Coffee and water available to help settle everything.

On or about 8 PM:  THE ARCHIVAL CIVIL DEFENSE FRUITCAKE
Our notorious archival civil defense fruitcake will come out of seclusion. King Bryan will select a taster from the many eager attendees. Not to worry, it’s only 8 years mold, er... that is, old.

AWARDS CEREMONY
Wonderful and special prizes from Paradise Fruit Company, makers of all of the fruitcake fruits sold in the USA.

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.  --  A. Einstein

     ...For Nancy Masters, the Inyo County, Calif., library director, fruitcake is something to have fun with, but certainly not serve as the butt of a joke.
     Ms. Masters also serves as the president of the Independence Civic Club, which makes her in charge of the small town’s annual Fruitcake Festival.
     Independence, Calif., is about eight hours southeast of San Francisco, with a population of 500 to 600 people, and this is the eighth year for the festival, she said.
     “We have to find things to do,” Ms. Masters said with a laugh. “It’s just sort of a crazy, chaotic party, and that’s the way we want it.”
     The festival got its start after Ms. Masters and several of her friends were joking about a way to celebrate the much maligned food. As luck would have it, the friends were discussing the option while volunteering at an election site, where a reporter overheard the conversation and put it in the paper.
     Every year the festival has a different theme. One time it was an Egyptian theme, while last year embraced “Peace, Love, and Fruitcake.” This December, the celebration is “Fiesta de Fruitcake.”
     The festival includes a number of contests for the fruitcake, such as “most solids” baked into the cake, farthest traveled and best decorated.
     “One lady made fruitcake balls, which was a really interesting idea,” Ms. Masters said. “We always try to do some value-added fruitcake, like fruitcake tempura … or fruitcake bread pudding.”
     And each year Ms. Masters brings out a cake that she’s had preserved for eight years to get people to taste.
      Packed in a metal canister used in bomb shelters, then placed in a glass container, the fruitcake gets a new coat of powdered sugar and an injection of brandy.
     “We do take precautions,” she said with a laugh.
     Ms. Masters said she too is a fruitcake fan. She likes the various fruits and nuts and the different styles the cake can be baked. For the festival, however, “it’s not what tastes the best.”

Baker puts heart, soul into abbey’s fruitcake - Washington Times
 

More fruitcake news!

New Camaldoli Hermitage monks' fruitcake
November 30, 2012     Meredith May     San Francisco Chronicle
     This time of year, orders for holiday fruitcakes and Holy Granola" are pouring in to this remote Benedictine monastery...

Fruitcakes made one mountain girl's dream come true
November 29, 2012     Gail Diederich     Tampa Bay Times
     My husband hasn't embraced fruitcake, but I've been working on that for 25 years.

Southwest Missouri monks continue selling fruitcakes
November 26, 2012     AP     The Joplin Globe    
     The monks at the abbey, which was founded in 1950, used to make concrete blocks, but turned to fruitcakes in 1987.

Police Reports!

Another way to hurl a fruitcake     December 2, 2012
     Someone threw what appeared to be a fruitcake at a car in Arlington Heights, Ill., damaging the side view mirror.